This Christmas time

Every Christmas brings a bit of anxiety for me.  Our current circumstances don't allow for much in the way of gifts and this time sometimes causes me to become a grinch.  It is a struggle to get in the mood and I start to dread all the hustle and bustle of the season.  A few days ago I was subbing at a school and they have a tradition where the entire K through 5th graders meet in the gym and have a sing along.  They have a huge screen on the stage with the words to Christmas songs and everyone sings along.  Being in a sour mood I decided to stay in the classroom and finish a project the teacher needed.  I wasn't in the mood to hear Christmas songs.....let alone sing them. 

It is such a magical time and a time children dream of.  My younger three kids wrote to Santa and received letters back.  Santa really is amazing.  He sure made my kids happy.  I try to get into the spirit of things at home.  We have our tree up and decorated.  We have an amazing village (that my dear sister gave to us) that we have displayed.  Three or four nativity sets sit on our shelves.  Kids are healthy.  Husband is improving and has found some very part time online work.  I was asked to permanent sub at MY FAVORITE elementary school.  I am still plugging along at school (which I almost quit a few weeks ago).  Blessings are all around and how can I not see them?

I find myself complaining and getting bitter at the challenges that sometimes come my way.  But I also realize that my Heavenly Father is completely aware of me and the things I face.  I am so eternally grateful for Him and His sacrifices on my behalf.  His unconditional love helps me to be able to continue to step forward....even when I have no idea what path is best for our family.  I rely on Him to guide and direct me. 

I want to share something that I want my children to always remember.  As they look back on this blog I hope they see how much good there is.  I hope they see the tender mercies of the Lord in the life that we have been blessed with.

So Rachel (11) and Mayah (8) wanted to sing in Sacrament meeting.  About a month ago they asked the person in charge and she said that would be great.  A sweet and very talented girl in our ward helped them practice and she played the piano for them.  Both the girls asked if they could get matching dresses to wear while they sang.  UGH. I knew I would not be able to buy new matching dresses. For ONE:  Rachel is in junior sizes and I don't think I remember seeing junior clothes that match youth sizes.  I told the girls I would look around and see what I could find.  I told them that I would look at Goodwill but wanted them to know that it was probably not going to happen.  But I prayed somehow that I would be able to make this dream of theirs come true.

Don, Zach and I went to Spokane to do some shopping.  It was a blessing too that my little brother and his wife had also gone that day.  They invited us for lunch and even paid the bill.  Such wonderful blessings in our lives. 

It was getting late and we hardly found any Christmas presents.  We decided to go to one more store:  White Elephant.  As we turned the corner I saw a Goodwill.  I told Don I really wanted to go there and just look to see if they had any dresses for the girls.  SO after we went to White Elephant, Don turned around and headed back to the Goodwill. 

I went right to the dress rack.  HOLY COW.  I could not believe my eyes.  There were two matching dresses.  But I figured they wouldn't be the right sizes.  I took the first off the rack and it was a 14.  It looked like it would fit Rachel.  The other was a size 12.  I knew it would be too big for Mayah but figured I could temporarily take it in.  I was SO EXCITED.  I instantly knew this was a tender mercy from my Father in Heaven.  How could that be a coincidence? 

I couldn't wait to get the $3.99 dresses home to show the girls.  They took one look at them and hurried to try them on.  Rachel's fit her perfectly.  Mayah's was too big but with the ties in back we were able to make it look beautiful.  The girls were so happy.  I told them the story and they knew it was a miracle. 

I almost cried.  Even with something so simple (but it was important to me and the girls) the Savior knew I needed this blessing. 

I am just so grateful for all I have.  Yes, we may need to sacrifice and go without but there are so many wonderful things to be grateful for.  There are so many blessings that help me move forward and not give up.  The birth of the Savior is a gift that allows His children to return back into His presence.  And is that not enough?  It is for me.