Saturday, February 22, 2014

To continue with school or not?

Such a hard thing for me.  I am trying to figure out if I should take a break or keep going.  I don't even know if I want to be a teacher.  I am stuck in a pretty hard spot.  I told my mentor that I was going to take a break from school but he wanted to talk to me first but we have not been able to connect yet.  I had finished two of my four classes.  The other two were ones I have not really studied for.  I kind of checked out around Thanksgiving and haven't checked back in yet.  AND that isn't good.  My term ends March 1st and I didn't study for one of my classes but had to take the test anyway by the 25th of this month.  I signed up for it to take on Tuesday and actually passed it. I couldn't believe it....especially since I took the pretest 3 times and didn't pass any of them.  Before taking that test I was 100% sure I was done for the moment.  I have my AA degree and have been with WGU for a year and a half.  I still have until 2017 until I graduate with my teaching degree.  PEOPLE....that is a long time to be in school.  FOR ME ANYWAY. 

Anytime I even start to think about it I almost break into tears.  School is so hard for me.  I am not a great student and it feels like I am in medical school.  I am juggling quite a few things which becomes more difficult but at this point I told my mentor I would stick with it for now and see what the future brings. 

All I have ever wanted was to just be a mom.  To some that may sound lazy.  I don't consider myself that at all.  Working full time and trying to be a part of the life of five kids and going to school is exhausting.  It is something I never imagined I would be doing at this stage in my life.  But I guess we don't always know what life will throw at us and so I say to ALL.....get an education while you are young and before kids if you can. 

I am a hard worker and I continually get compliments at work.  I get calls constantly from people wanting me to work for them.  I know I am good at what I do (and I don't say that to brag).  I just don't like the school work and the intense amount of time it takes me to get it.  SO yeah maybe I am dumb.  But I am a dumb hard worker.  :)


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